Stay With Me Always
by Simply-Buffy-Guild
Summary: Despite all odds Buffy and Angel find a way to make it all work...or else...
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Despite all odds Buffy and Angel find a way to make it all work...or else...  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: Buffy/Angel  
Disclaimer: We own nothing  
Feedback: YES  
A.N - The first chapter is done from an rp we did, Buffy - Sanityfair, Angel - lilsoccercutie55,

Joyce and Willow - buffygirl52789. The remaining chapters will be done round robin style.

* * *

Angel looked outside his window onto the rainy streets of Sunnydale. He could swear he could see her face, but he knew whenever he was thinking her face was implanted in his mind.

Buffy stared up at the sky as the rain rolled across her face, she wanted to find him, but she knew she shouldn't. She had a job to do, and with that meant letting certain things go.

Angel finally got sick of waiting and decided to brave the storm. Once outside of apartment he walked towards her home, he could almost envision her right now. She was probably brushing her beautiful blonde hair, and listening to some Sarah Maclachlan song. He had found out early on, she was one of her favorite artists. He smiled once realizing he was at Revello Drive, he looked up to her window, but found it dark. He decided to wait upstairs until she got home. He knew he had to avoid Joyce seeing him if she was even home, he climbed through her window and into her room.

Willow trudged along in the rain. She wasn't really sure why she had even come. Just because Buffy was her friend. But right now she was wet and miserable, and trying to remember why she wasn't home studying.

Buffy turned to the soaking wet redhead who looked miserable. "Brighten up, Will, I'm sure the rain will stop soon," she said though looking at the night sky she knew the downpour would continue.

"Are there even any vampires out here?" Willow said, trying not to sound too whiny.

Angel knocked his knee on her bed while mauneuvering his way to her closet where he would wait until she got home.

Buffy sighed, "There are always vampire out." Though she was thinking of only one.

"Why don't you just go see him?" Willow asked, reading her mind.

"I can't, I couldn't," Buffy mused as she fiddled with the stake in her hand, she took another sigh and asked, "What do you think he's doing?"

Willow smiled at her. "Why can't you, exactly? It's not like you can actually get anything done when you're so distracted."

"I can too," Buffy said, "Okay, so maybe I can't get as much done, but" she let her voice trail off and then shrugged, "Don't really know what to say."

"To Angel? Buffy, I'm sure he would be happy to just see you."

While in the closet Angel looked around. It was a pretty big closet, and he was happy for that or he would be one cramped vampire. He found her leather jacket and smelled her essence. She had been wearing it recently, and he smiled. It looked good on her, and he liked seeing her in it.

Buffy nodded, "I don't think the rain will let us do much anyway." She waved for Willow to follow so they could just go home.

Willow followed happily.

Angel sensed her as soon as she stepped into the house. He smiled but stayed where he was until she came to her room.

Buffy mumbled her thanks to Willow and then hurried up the stairs. After the rain water soaked through, all she wanted to do was take a shower and sleep. She could talk to Angel tomorrow night.

Joyce heard her daughter enter the house. "Buffy? Is that you?"

Angel heard Joyce calling her back down and cursed under his breath. All he wanted to do now was to see her, and hold her, and maybe kiss her a little.

"It's me," Buffy said walking over to greet Joyce and more importantaly, "Do I have any clean clothes, I'm looking for my pajamas with the silver stars."

Joyce gave her a look. "Knowing you they are probably at the bottom of your closet somewhere."

"Fine, Fine," Buffy mumbled continuing back up the stairs. She didn't even wait to turn on the light before she pulled off her shirt eager to get out of her wet clothes.

Angel heard her come in, and opened the closet door. He immediately regretted it when he saw her front side. He put his hand over his eyes, and kept saying to her how sorry he was.

Buffy screamed and dove behind the sheet that was laying on her bed. Her face was now beat red, "Angel! What are you doing here?"

Joyce heard Buffy scream, and went running up the stairs. "Buffy? Are you okay?" She approached the door to her bedroom.

Angel still had his eyes covered and stammered out "Wanted to surprise you...sorry shouldn't have came...such an idiot," he said knowing if he was alive his face would be beat red.

"Buffy?" Joyce said as she started to turn the door knob...

"I'm okay," Buffy said slamming her body against the door so Joyce wouldn't see Angel. She then yelped again when she realized her shirt was still on the ground. She let go of the door to try to dive for it.

When hearing Joyce's voice, Angel went back into the closet.

Joyce opened the door, staring around frantically. "Buffy? What happened? I heard you scream."

Buffy blushed even harder, "I uh saw a bug, must have come in from the rain or something." She instinctively stepped in front of her closet

Angel held his breath which wasn't very hard since he really didn't have to breath anyways.

Joyce frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were changing. I'll just go then." She stepped back out the door, still a little confused as to what had just happened.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as Joyce left and turned to Angel, or rather the closet door. "What were you thinking?" she hissed as she threw the wet shirt back on.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that you weren't dressed. I just needed to see you," he paused for a second then proceeded, "I missed you."

Buffy melted, "I missed you do, but calling first would have been nice." She paused, blushed again and said, "I kinda need to take a shower, but if you still want to hang around it shouldn't take me that long."

"I'll wait, I would wait a lifetime for you," he said the last part a whisper hoping Buffy didn't hear it, he didn't like how vulnerable he was when he was around her. It made him nervous, but it was the only time he liked being nervous.

Buffy heard it, but she couldn't think straight enough to address what he said. She was confused with all of this, she loved Angel, but she was a slayer, could it even work. She sighed as climbed into the shower.

Angel decided to stay in his place in the closet in case Joyce came back in, or if Buffy was undressed when she came back from the shower. He couldn't help but smile though when he thought about it, she was beautiful even more then he had ever imagined, and he imagined a lot.

Thirty minutes later she got out and dried herself off with a towel. Thankful that since she never put her clothes up where they were supposed to go, she had a fresh pair in the bathroom, or at least not as dirty. She pulled them on and walked into her room to meet Angel. Still unsure of what do to or say.

Angel felt her come in and whispered, "Can I come out?"

"Yes, yes, I'm decent," she said, "So..." She was more then a bit nervous, if she thought staking vampires were hard then it paled in comparision to trying to date one.

Angel came out, and took in all of her. He was sure he was drooling. Until then he had never seen her at night other then the patrolls. Seeing her made him want to do some unspeakable things to her, that he was ashamed of thinking.

Buffy caught his gaze and held it wondering what was hidden behind those dark eyes. She wanted to run up and throw her arms around him and kiss him and have him whisper sweet nothings into her ear. But, she had to face reality.

He took a step towards her while never taking his eyes off from her.

"Angel?" she questioned as he drew nearer to her. She got lost in his eyes, lost in the moment and before she could rebel against the screaming in her mind. She simply kissed him.

He feel into the kiss immediately. He nipped at her bottom lip begging for entrance.

A silent prayer flew inside her mind to give her the courage and the strength just to say no. This was wrong, she knew what would happen, and yet she continued to kiss him. She grabbed hold of his shoulders and wondered if her mother was a safe enough distance away.

Joyce sat down in the kitchen, going over some paperwork for the gallery, mostly oblivious to her daughter's life as usual.

He felt the bed behind him as he fell on it bring Buffy with him. He decided to take his kiss to the sensitive part of her neck. He loved this girl so much, and there was no more denying it.

Buffy threw her head back and closed her eyes throwing all her convictions out the window. She told herself it was the thrill the storm brought, that it was all the drama she was having with the slayage, that it was anything but her giving in to her carnal desires.

Suddenly all of the rational thoughts came back into Angel's head stopping his kissed. He looked into Buffy's lust filled eyes and was breathless. "We should stop..."

Buffy groaned at the loss of contact, but she knew that he was right. She shook her head clear the wanton thoughts dancing around in her head and pulled away from him. "You should go," she said sighing, "I'm really tired, and it's been a long night..."

Angel nodded, this was the last thing he wanted to do, but knew it was the right thing to do. Before he went though he whispered into her "I'll miss you," before placing a lingering kiss on her lips and leaving.

Buffy watched him going feeling a maurade of different emotions. She wanted him to stay, but she knew it wouldn't be right. She couldn't be selfish. Yet, she found herself crying anyway.

Angel didn't leave though, he stayed outside of her room on the roof letting the rain fall around him. He wanted to see her fall asleep, see her at peace. His heart ached out to her, when he saw the tears come. He was at a crossroads at the moment, should he comfort her, or stay away?

Buffy sat on the edge of her bed and put her head in her hands. Her shoulders shaking as the tears fell down. Could she never have what she wanted.

Angel finally decided to just stay put. She had some things to figure out and she needed her space. He didn't want to be the clingy boyfriend.

Buffy lay back on her bed not bothering to wipe the tear stains off of her face or do much of anything else for that matter and soon she fell into a restless sleep.

Angel watched her for awhile as her chest went up and down with every breath she took. He smiled and blew a kiss to her before leaving.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hi, this is Erin, or buffygirl52789 here on fanfiction. The first page of this chapter was done by Amanda (lilsoccercutie55) and Kitty (Sanity Fair) in an rp, but the rest was written by me. I hope you like it!

A/N 2: This story is set in Buffy season 2, sometime after Ted but before Surprise. Basically this is going to be an alternate version of the Bangel relationship starting from that point.

> > > > >

Chapter 2

Buffy picked up the rose and stared at it. She knew who it was from even more as she read the note. With things like this how was she ever going to be able to find the willpower to resist?

Willow knocked on the Summers' door, hoping Buffy was ready for school. She knew this was a slim chance because rarely was she ready on time.

Buffy in fact was not ready, and as she heard the familiar knock at her door she dashed around the house to gather her things. Finally she swung the door open, slightly flustered. "Hey, Will," she said, not realizing she was still holding the rose.

Willow immediately caught eye of the red flower and smiled. "I see you saw Angel last night," she said, giggling as she pulled Buffy out the door.

Buffy laughed herself, "Yeah, I did, but I still don't know if it was a happy visit or yet another complicated one."

"Was there any, ya know kissing?" she asked, blushing when she said the word kissing.

"Well, there was some," Buffy said thoughtfully, "but it was mostly just staring and silence." She left out the part about Angel and her on the bed, she didn't even think she was ready to accept it herself.

Willow nodded in understanding, deciding to change the subject. "Wasn't the history homework easy? I am so ready for the test today," Willow commented confidently, hoping Buffy had remembered to study.

Buffy slapped a hand to her forehead. "I can't believe I forgot. I mean I was planning on studying, I just wasn't exactly planning on Angel visiting either." She shook her head as they entered the school. It was going to be a long day.

Willow patted Buffy on the back to reassure her it was going to be okay. "Have you seen Xander in a while, the only time I see him lately is with Cordelia. And that thought is just creepy," Willow said shaking her head in disbelief.

As if on cue Xander walked up. "Ladies, Willow," he teased and then smirked, "You are looking at someone who is going to ace that test today."

"Am I the only one who hasn't studied," Buffy said gloomily.

Willow shot a death glare at Xander for bringing up the test. "So where is your sidekick?" Willow asked sarcastically, referring to Cordelia.

Xander rolled his eyes. "You mean little miss who likes to put me down in public, she's around...somewhere." Buffy tuned them out as they entered the first class of the day.

> > > > >

"So I would say that we should remain business as usual until we find out for sure if the prophecy is indeed pertaining to this particular evening...Buffy? Buffy?"

Buffy snapped out of her trance as Giles's voice awoke her with a start. "What?"

Giles gave her a stern look. "I was just explaining to you how it is possible that the demon prince Razarius will rise tonight, but obviously you have more important things to think about."

Buffy looked at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry." Truth was she had been thinking about nothing but last night with Angel all day. Even during her history test, which she was certain she had failed. Last night things had just...escalated beyond anything they had ever been before, and she was still trying to figure out how she felt about that.

Giles sighed and began to pace around the room. "I was saying that I am not certain if he is indeed due to rise tonight, the translation of this particular prophecy is a bit sketchy."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Buffy asked politely.

"If he is due to rise, we have no idea where it shall occur. So, as I was saying while you chose to not listen, you should proceed with your usual patrol, but keep an extra eye about," Giles instructed.

Willow and Xander walked into the library, setting their books down on the table. "What's going on? Big evil?" Willow asked curiously, taking a seat next to Buffy.

"The only evil I witnessed today was that history test. I mean, how were we supposed to know she was going to ask questions about the Crimean War?" Xander complained.

Willow raised an eyebrow. "Maybe because Mrs. Tompkins said yesterday that we should be sure to study that chapter."

Xander looked down. "Well she can't expect us to know that when she knows that no one pays attention."

Giles cleared his throat, bringing them back to the subject at hand. "We are trying to deduce if the demon prince Razarius will in fact rise tonight, and if so, where."

Willow looked at Buffy. "Why don't you ask Angel? He knows a lot about some of these demon guys," she suggested innocently.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. Willow didn't really get how confused her feelings towards Angel were right now. Mostly because she hadn't told her the whole story of what had happened last night, but she wouldn't have understood anyway. Willow had never really been in a relationship before, besides when she dated Xander back in kindergarten. She couldn't expect her to get these really complicated feelings she had towards Angel as their relationship became more intense. "I don't know, I think Angel's...busy."

She ignored the strange look Willow gave her as Giles chimed in. "Willow has an excellent suggestion, perhaps Angel has heard of this particular demon before. He could be of some help."

Buffy sighed. "Okay, I'll stop by his place on my way out to patrol." She quickly rose from her seat. "I should be getting home, should make an appearance for mom before I head out for the night."

Willow frowned slightly. She knew when Buffy was keeping things from her. "Okay. We'll talk later."

"I'll contact you if we come up with anything," Giles added.

Buffy nodded and waved goodbye to the three of them before hastily exiting the library.

> > > > >

Buffy hesitated before knocking on the door to Angel's apartment. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be here or not. Part of her wanted desperately to see him, and to kiss him and feel him. But part of her wanted to stay away because she was afraid of what her feelings for him were turning into.

_You're here on a mission, the demon prince guy_, she reminded herself as she knocked.

He opened the door a second later. He smiled when he saw her. "Buffy. I'm so glad to see you." He opened the door wider so she could enter. She walked in, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

She spun around to look at him. "I'm actually here on business. Demon prince Razarius, Giles thinks he might be rising tonight or something, but we don't know anything else. We were hoping you could help."

Angel frowned slightly. "Doesn't ring a bell."

Buffy nodded. "Okay. We were just wondering." She glanced at the door.

"Buffy, are you okay? You seem a little...anxious." He took a step closer to her.

She took a deep breath as he came closer. He smelled so good..._focus Buffy,_ she told herself. "I'm fine. It's just...been a long day."

He came even closer and placed his hands on her waist. "Maybe I can make it better..." he leaned in and kissed her softly.

The second he touched her she felt almost all of her doubts and insecurities slip away. She relaxed and kissed him back. She felt his hand move down her back, sending a tingle up her spine. "You feel so good..." Buffy said. She remembered now why it had been so hard to resist him the previous night. She jolted back to reality a little when his hand reached under her shirt, touching her bare back. She inadvertently pulled back.

"Buffy...I'm sorry, I got carried away," Angel said quickly, pulling his hands back. "I didn't mean to..."

"I know. It's not your fault, I'm just..." she closed her eyes. "I'm just a little jumpy, because I've been thinking a lot about our relationship, and where it's going. Especially after last night."

Angel suddenly understood why she had been acting so strange. "OH. Okay. Buffy, you know that I would never...push you..."

"Angel, I know. Believe me, that's not the problem here. The problem is me. I don't know what I want. I don't know if I'm ready for our relationship to go beyond kissing. I hadn't even thought about it too much until last night, on my bed..." her voice trailed off.

Angel didn't really know what to say. "I've thought about it too. And I'm sorry that I've been getting carried away lately, it's just that every time I see you it gets harder...to hold back." Without really meaning to he stepped closer to her again.

"I know...I just feel so drawn to you...all the time..." Before either of them knew it they were kissing again, this time more passionately. He lifted her off the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked over so she was pinned to the door. Hands started roaming and after a minute or so Angel backed off, setting her back down on the floor.

"Wow..." He just stared at her.

Buffy looked him in the eyes. "See? This is why I'm so confused. When you're kissing me and holding me I don't really think rationally. And I don't know how I feel yet about where this is all headed. I just...need to think."

Angel nodded. "Definitely. I don't want to...rush into anything you're not ready for."

Buffy noticed his use of the word "you're." Did that mean he wanted her? But then again sex wasn't exactly a big issue for him, he had been more or less alive for over two hundred years, and he had been with lots of girls...

"I just think I need a little space. Just some time to think things through," Buffy continued. "It's just so confusing to be around you right now."

Angel nodded, trying to hide his disappointment. "I understand. Take all the time you need. Just know that I'm here. And that I..." he briefly considered saying it, but decided that this wasn't the right time. "That I care about you."

She managed a small smile. "I know." They both silently contemplated a goodbye kiss, but realized that could get way out of control, with how things had been lately. "Well...I guess I'll see you."

"Bye," Angel said quietly. She left, leaving him to stare the at the closed door. "I love you," he whispered when she was already gone.

> > > > >

"Oh, hello Bunny," Sheila Rosenberg said absentmindedly when Buffy rang the doorbell fifteen minutes later. "Willow's in her room."

"Thanks," Buffy said, walking down the hall. She entered Willow's open door. Her best friend was sitting on her bed, reading their history assignment. "Will, I'm so sorry for coming over all sudden like this but I really need to talk to you. I didn't know where else to go," she said desperately, closing the door behind her.

Willow instantly ditched the history book and sat cross legged on her bed, looking at Buffy expectantly. "You know I don't mind. So what happened with Angel?"

"Was I that obvious?" Buffy groaned. She sat down next to her. "Will, I'm just so confused. I have all these new feelings, and I think I want to go with them when we're actually there in the moment, but then I stand back and think about it and I wonder if I've gone crazy! Because I don't know what I want anymore," she rushed.

"Ya wanna translate for me?" Willow said politely.

Buffy sighed. "Okay. I'm thinking about having sex with Angel."

Willow coughed suddenly, like she was choking on something although there was nothing in her mouth. "Are you okay?" Buffy asked nervously.

Willow nodded quickly. "Uh, yeah. You just sorta surprised me a little."

Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just so confused. Things have been getting...more passionate between Angel and I. Last night he was at my house, and he kind of saw me naked without meaning to, and then we kind of ended up on the bed..." she noticed how wide her friend's eyes had gotten. "But I stopped it. Nothing really happened."

"But you think you wanted it to?" Willow asked.

"See, that's the thing! I really don't know. When we're there, in the moment, it seems so right, and I really just want to go with it. But then I stop and think about it for a second, and I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"Have you talked to Angel about this?" Willow asked.

Buffy nodded. "Sort of. Just now, I stopped by his place, and we started kissing, and then I stopped it again, and I told him how I'm confused. He just said that he understands and that he would never push me to do anything I don't want to do."

To Buffy's surprise, Willow smiled a little. "Carpe diem. You told me that once, remember?"

Buffy did remember. "So...you think we should..."

"Buffy, here's how I see it. You do want to be with Angel. But you're so used to having to be rational and grown up. I mean, you're the slayer. You have to make some pretty big decisions. So I think that you know what you want deep down, and you're just too responsible to just go with your feelings," Willow said simply.

Buffy considered that for a moment. "So you're saying that I should just not hold back anymore?"

"I think you already know the answer. Buffy, you really just need to follow your heart with this. I mean, this is really big. I don't know how much I can help you."

Buffy gave her a wry smile. "Why do you always have to be so wise?"

Willow grinned back. "That's what I'm here for."

Buffy reached out and gave her a hug. "Thanks Will. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I'm glad I could help. You just have to promise me one thing," she replied.

"What?" Buffy asked.

Willow grinned at her. "Whatever you decide, you have to tell me all about it."

Buffy smiled back. "I will."

They said their goodbyes and Buffy stood out on the sidewalk in front of the Rosenberg home. The night was still fairly young. She could either go on her regular patrol, go back to the library to see where Giles was on the demon prince front, or she could go back to Angel's. She smiled as she set off down the street, her mind made up as to where she was headed.

> > > > >

TBC!

Reviews would be appreciated. Have fun with the next chapter Amanda!


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Hello everyone! Well this chapter took me a long time to write, so hopefully everyone will enjoy it. I used a line from "Surprise" in my chapter so I am letting ya'll know it wasn't written by me, and I do not own that part.

Chapter 3

Buffy took a deep breath before knocking on the door of Angel's apartment. She knew she had said she needed some space to think, but she knew what her heart was telling her to do. Who knew if she was ever going to feel like this again? Right now all she wanted to focus on was being with Angel, completely.

Angel opened the door moments later; he immediately smiled when he saw Buffy. He knew he would have to accept her wanting space, but he knew it would be hard and it was something he really didn't want to do. "Hey, you're back," he said, standing aside to let her in.

"Ya, well you know that thing I said earlier about needing space? Well I kinda changed my mind. Angel, I know what my heart is telling me do, it's just my head that's getting in the way. My heart knows and wants so bad to be with you, but my head is yelling at me saying 'don't do it.' Until now I didn't know which one I should listen to, but someone very special to me reminded me of a certain phrase, carpe diem, seize the day," she looked deep in his eyes before getting the courage to say what she so desperately wanted to say. "I want to be with you Angel in every way possible."

Angel wasn't sure if he had heard right, had Buffy just said that she was ready? He had been sure that she wouldn't be ready for months, possibly even years. He looked into her eyes trying to see if she was truly ready, or if she felt pushed by him. "Buffy you know we don't have to do this, I can wait as long as you need. I want this to be special for you, and for it to be special you need to be truly ready," Angel said rubbing his hands up and down her arm slowly.

Buffy gulped quietly she couldn't explain all the feelings she was feeling at the moment, but looking into Angel's eyes she knew this was right. She was standing in front of the man she loved, even though he had never said it in words his eyes had said it many times before. She shook her head a couple of times before placing it onto his chest. She was scared, but she was also excited.

"Then we're going to do this right, I'm going to take you to the most expensive restaurant tonight, and then only if you still think you're ready then I will make love to you," he said wrapping her body in a hug.

Buffy smiled at his words, "Angel you really don't have to go all out and take me out. Just being with you is enough, I don't need a fancy dinner. I just want this night to be with you," she said as she took a seat on his bed. She couldn't help but let her mind wander to what they would be doing on it in just a few hours. She ran a finger over his red comforter.

Angel sat down next to her and held her hand "I am going to make this night as special as I can. I don't want you to worry about anything okay?" he said, kissing her hand.

Buffy finally gave in, she could see how badly Angel wanted to make this special for her. "Okay Angel, what time should I meet you there?" she asked smiling reassuringly at him.

"What if I picked you up? Is your mom going to be home tonight?" he said, hoping she wouldn't. He didn't want to have Buffy lie to her to sneak out with him.

"If you wanted you could pick me up, mom is out of town for the weekend so it is just going to be me," she said standing back up and heading towards the door.

"Okay be ready around seven then," he said to her, wrapping his hands around her waist.

Buffy looked up at him and placed her lips upon his softly at first, but as the seconds went by hands started to roam again. She could feel his hand going from her waist to her butt. She couldn't help but groan into his mouth; Angel grinned and made a mental note that she liked that for later tonight. She opened her mouth to allow his tongue access.

He could feel his last bit of restraint slipping away as he started kissing her neck. He needed to stop this; he reminded himself that he would soon have her in every way possible. He took a step back and saw her lust filled eyes looking questioningly up at him; he smiled before kissing on her cheek. "See you tonight Buffy."

Buffy smiled at him before leaving his apartment She didn't know what she would do with herself until seven. It only took her maybe 3 hours to get ready, and it was only twelve pm at the moment. She went by the Espresso Pump and saw Willow and Xander. She walked over to them; she really felt like she was flying from what was going to happen with Angel, but knew she had to get a grip on herself.

"Hey guys what's up?" she said grinning from ear to ear, Willow gave her a curious look, but Buffy just ignored it.

"Nothing much, how is the Buffster? You seem rather peppy today, did someone have too much coffee this morning? Tsk, Tsk what did I tell you about that Buffy?" he joked shaking a finger at her. Buffy swatted the finger away from her before sitting down.

"Can't a girl just be happy?" Buffy asked, looking down at her Mocha that the waiter had brought her.

"Yes a girl can just be happy, but not you. Now give, what's up?" Xander pressed. Buffy looked at Willow to cover for her.

"I think it's because, she thinks she did really well on the history test right Buffy?" Willow cut in, winking very noticeably at her.

Being the very unobservant Xander he is, he didn't catch the wink between his two friends. "At least somebody thinks they did well, I'm not going to even get into how bad I sucked again," Xander said taking a sip of his mocha.

Buffy mouthed a thank you to Willow before standing up, she was about to say her goodbyes when Xander piped up again, "so what time shall I meet my best gals for some dancing tonight at the Bronze?" Xander asked giving them his best goofy grin.

"Actually I can't Xand, sorry," Buffy said.

Xander looked at her questioningly, and for a moment she wondered if he knew what she up to. When he smiled again she let out a sigh of relief. "Alright at least I'll have my other boogy partner there, or do you have some super secret plan too?"

"Nope, I'm all done with dancing my booty off tonight," Willow said. Buffy glanced down at her watch and gasped when she saw she only had 2 hours to get ready now. She quickly said her goodbyes before running the rest of the way to her house.

Opening the door to her house, she smelled something wonderful, she immediately became frightened at the thought of her mom coming home early. "Mom, I thought you had the buisne…" she trailed off when she saw a man in her kitchen, standing over pots and wearing a pink apron. She then let a giggle out when the man turned around, he was obviously alarmed at the sound of her voice. "Angel sorry to say this, but you just don't pull off the pink apron thing," he glanced down at himself and immediately took it off. She swore if he were alive his face would be a bright shade of red at the moment.

"Buffy, I wasn't expecting you home so soon, I saw you talking to Xander and Willow when I was trying to make reservations at that restaurant," Angel came over to her slowly and put his hands on her hips. She swore she felt her whole body tremble at the feel of his touch.

"So I take it no luck with the reservations?" she said, secretly glad that he wasn't able to get them. She really just didn't want make all of this a big deal.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I tried and tried, but apparently this business party booked the whole damn restaurant," he said, frowning at the thought of his conversation with the waiter.

Buffy gave him a small smile and quickly kissed him on the cheek before walking over to the stove to smell the deliciousness he was making. "It's alright Angel, I'd rather just spend our night here, and whatever you are cooking, it smells fantastic."

Angel smiled, before carrying her out of the kitchen. "Stay ou,t the surprise of dinner is already ruined, at least what I'm making will be a surprise," Angel said, laughing at her pouting face.

"Fine, I don't need to know. I'll just go upstairs and get ready," she said before running up the stairs into her room. She leaned on her closed door and let out the breath she was never able to take since she had seen him. He was wearing a black silk shirt with black pants. He had done something different with his hair, which she noticed. The new change brought out his deep brown eyes, which she knew was the entrance to his soul. Finally able to breathe normally again she went to her closet to find something that would take Angel's breath away, or at least metaphorically.

Finally deciding on a red satin dress with black heels, she was satisfied. She quickly fixed her makeup, making sure she wasn't over doing it or under doing it. With spraying a speck of jasmine spice at herself she went down the stairs. Angel was at the bottom waiting for her.

She looked so beautiful to him, the dress brought out her natural curves that would drive any man wild. He had to take control himself if he wanted to get through supper. "Buffy, you're beautiful," he finally said, taking her hand, and leading her in the dinning room.

She gasped at all of the work Angel must have put into this dinner, "Angel, you really didn't need to do all of this," she said, sitting down into the chair he had pulled out for her.

"You have it wrong, this isn't enough, I wish I could have done more, but well, this is one of the only things I know how to make," he said, taking his own seat.

Buffy started to cut up her steak; she really didn't know what to say to him. He had done so much, she couldn't have asked for anything else. "Angel, you don't know how much all of this means to me, you're making this night so special."

Angel smiled and took hold of her hand; he hoped he could make the rest of the night just as special for her. Once finished with supper, Buffy was sent into the living room to watch TV while Angel did the dishes. She protested but again was carried to the other room.

A while later Angel came out, and stood in the doorway waiting for Buffy to take notice of him. When she did, she had a huge smile on her face. In his hands was a vase of what looked like 2 dozen red roses. "Oh my god Angel, they're beautiful!" She squealed with joy, smelling the flowers. She stared into his eyes, she wanted so bad just to say those three words that she had been dying to say to him for the past month. The only thing that was holding her back from saying them was the fear of him not saying them back to her. She was sick of holding in her true feelings though, she needed to know if he loved her. She had to hear it to just shut up that annoying voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her he that he didn't. When she opened up her mouth ready to say those word,s he silenced her with his finger that was placed on her lips.

Angel knew what she was about to say to him but he didn't want to hear it, not yet at least. He needed to do something first. "Can we go upstairs? I have something for you," he asked, staring into her emerald eyes pleading to her just to let him speak.

Buffy could feel her heart start to beat faster at the thought of them back in her bedroom. She couldn't muster up the courage to speak the words so she simply nodded yes. She felt him take hold of her hand, and she couldn't help but let a smile come to her lips. He opened the door opened for her, and she stepped inside the room, she looked around aimlessly before turning around and looking at Angel again.

"Angel I…" he interrupted her again with "shhh not yet, baby." He slowly crossed her room and reached under her bed where he took out a black velvet case.

Buffy could feel her eyes widen with excitement, "Angel what is it?" she asked sitting down on the bed next to him.

"Open it," he said smiling at her slightly. She slowly took it from him, he watched as she gently when a finger over the top of the box. His heart was pounding hoping she would like what was inside of the box; he watched every single movement she made.

When she finally opened her box she stared at the beautiful ring that lay inside of it. "Angel it's beautiful," she said simply, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

He let out a sigh of relief, so ecstatic she liked it. "My people, before I was changed, they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship; the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this." Angel explained slipping the ring onto her finger.

She didn't try to hold back the tears anymore. She looked up at him and smiled. He then took a ring that he had, and held it in his palm. "I want to belong with you Buffy, now and forever. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met in my entire life, and I know that this feeling won't go away, I don't want it to go away," he took an unneeded breath before going on. "I love you Buffy, and I try not to but," this time she cut him off and scooted closer to him so they were just inches apart.

"I know Angel, I tried not to, but this feeling it's not going away, and I have no desire of wanting it to. Angel I want to make love to you," she said kissing his hand.

He looked into her eyes, trying to see if he could find one doubt, any doubt, but he couldn't. All he saw was the love she had for him. He slowly brought his lips to hers in the most sensual kiss.

She could feel her heart melting at the very first touch of him; she fell into the kiss immediately, letting her heart lead the way. She opened her mouth to allow him to make the kiss deeper, and as he was doing so she felt herself being laid on the bed with him on top of her. She let a groan escape her lips as she felt his hands unzip the zipper of her dress.

Leaving her lips he had to make sure she was ready for this, and she wanted this. "Are you sure Buffy?"

"Yes, Angel I have never been more sure," she said as she pulled his head to meet her lips.

TBC! Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

by Sanity Fair

"Honey, are you feeling alright?" Joyce asked as she and Buffy sat together inside the kitchen. Her mother had a way of looking at her for moments at a time before actually voicing her questions. Two minutes earlier Buffy had a feeling of what she would ask before she even asked it so the uttered phrase came at no surprise to her. Only slightly in annoyance.

"I'm fine mom," Buffy said rolling her eyes slightly.

She was fine, she knew that she was, and she wished her mother wouldn't ask her if she was or give her that look that she was giving her now. The look that clearly said she didn't trust her answer. Buffy was fine, she was better then fine even. And yesterday had been the happiest day in her life. She was still transfixed in her own afterglow and the only thought that skirted across her mind was being back there with him. Her Angel. Being back in his strong arms, gazing into his dark eyes as she gave all of herself to him. She shuddered just thinking about it.

"You don't look okay," Joyce observed as she continued to press the issue further.

"I'm fine mom," Buffy repeated.

She hated lying to her mother, though it's not like she was. Buffy was fine, she really was. But, there was now some part of her that would never be the same. A part of her was given to Angel, a part of her that she could never take back. Not that she would have it any other way.

"You look flustered," Joyce said reaching over to feel Buffy's forehead. After frowning a beat Joyce announced, "I think you're running a fever."

Buffy batted her hand away, "I'm fine..."

Broken record much? In truth, Buffy was sure she was probably coming down with a cold of some kind, but it was nothing for her mother to freak out about. Okay, maybe in this neighborhood there should be some concern she wasn't turning into a demon or hearing people's thoughts, but Buffy was sure it was just a cold. After all, when her main focus was roaming inside the cemetery in all kinds of weather she was sure she would pick up a bug or two. But, a little bit of chicken soup, some magazines, and Angel by her side she should be better in no time.

"I have to go," Buffy said brushing her mother off once more and heading toward the door.

LATER

"Buffy, are you feeling okay?" Willow asked peering into her friend's face, "You look all flustery and stuff..."

"I'm fine!" Buffy said, "God, what is with everyone today."

"Well, sorry Buff, but you have to admit, you look like crap," Xander said.

"I have a cold," Buffy said, narrowing her eyes slightly at his oh so polite observation, "You know I'm sure you've had one before. The flu is going around."

They all sat together in the library where they were doing, what else, but researching for the newest big bad. No matter how hard Buffy tried to melt her eyes into the worn pages of the spell book she kept thinking back to him. The moments spent with Angel seemed to be clouding her mind. She wondered what he was doing now. Okay, lame. He would probably be sleeping as most vampires would be in the mid afternoon. But, she still couldn't stop thinking about last night. Everyone time she closed her eyes she was back there staring up into his eyes as they put the world behind them.

"Buff, hey earth to Buffy," Xander said snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"I said it was just a cold," Buffy said snapping back to reality.

"Uh yeah we got that...about five minutes ago," Xander said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh..." Buffy managed.

Willow gave her a look, but said nothing. Buffy felt the back of her neck beginning to grow hot with embarrassment as it often did when she was nervous. Could Willow tell? Could her best friend see right through the facade and tell what she had done with Angel. Maybe she was just being paranoid, but everyone around seemed to be able to tell that something was up.

"Yes, well ah getting back to the sake of the world," Giles said removing his glasses for a quick clean.

Okay maybe not everyone. Giles seemed oblivious to everything except for demons, vampires, and saving the world. Buffy ran a steady hand through her blonde hair as she stared down into her book. She was beginning to have a headache and it wasn't something that felt good. Geez, why did flu season have to be now, especially when she and Angel had moved forward with their relationship. Maybe despite all her sniffles she would still be able to see him tonight. The thought of that let a slow smile creep to her lips as she fell back into the book and pretended to read again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

by buffygirl52789

A couple hours later Buffy knocked on the door of Angel's apartment. She frowned to herself as suddenly she felt a wave of nausea and dizziness. _This is a weird cold_, she thought to herself, a little worried. She tried to push it from her mind as she heard someone on the other side of the door.

Angel immediately grinned when he saw her. "Buffy. Hey," he reached out and gave her a big hug.

She instantly forgot about her strange ailment and melted into his arms, smiling. "I missed you. I couldn't stop thinking about last night."

"Me neither." He kissed her on the lips. "I love you. It feels so good to say that."

"I love you too." She stepped inside his apartment, and he closed the door behind her. As she stood there she suddenly saw everything go blurry, and she felt as if the room was spinning. She tried to blink a few times to steady herself.

Angel noticed the odd expression on Buffy's face. "Buffy? Are you okay?" He reached out and touched her arm.

Things slowly came back into focus. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I've just been feeling a little funny today, I think I'm coming down with a cold or something."

He looked concerned. "Should you see a doctor?"

She quickly shook her head. "Oh, no, I'm sure it'll pass. It's nothing to be worried about." She walked over and sat down on his bed to hopefully prevent another dizzy spell. He sat down next to her, staring at her intently.

"You look tired," he said worriedly.

She laughed it off. "That's nothing new. I'm the slayer, I'm awake at all hours of the night. Besides, I seem to remember not getting much sleep last night."

He couldn't help but smile at that. "Well just make sure you take care of yourself. I worry about you." He stroked her hair gently.

She looked at him and smiled. "I know you do. But I've had a long day, and right now I just want to unwind." She ran her fingers suggestively across his chest, hoping he got what she was saying.

He touched her cheek. "Well I would love to...but I don't know, if you're sick, maybe it isn't such a good idea."

Buffy looked a little upset. "But I'm fine! And I thought vampires didn't care about germs anyway."

"It's not that. Just maybe we should wait until you're feeling better. And besides, isn't your mom home tonight?"

She slumped in defeat. "Yeah. But I could get around that."

He leaned in and kissed her gently. "Well I wouldn't want to get you in trouble. Tell you what, you go home and rest, you're not going to be able to fight your cold if you're this exhausted. Then as soon as you're feeling better we can have another very special night."

"I'd like that." She kissed him again. "And I think my mom thought something was up this morning...that's a conversation I'm not quite ready for yet."

He looked at her. "Your mom will probably want to kill me."

"Angel, what we did last night didn't have anything to do with my mom. It was about me, I was ready and I have no regrets. So she'll just have to deal with that," Buffy said simply.

He smiled. "You really are mature beyond your years." He stood up. "Why don't you let me walk you home."

"Okay. I'd like that." She took his hand and they exited the apartment together.

> > > > >

The next morning Buffy awoke to a wave of nausea. "Oh no," she muttered, as she dashed to the bathroom and proceeded to throw up.

"Buffy? Are you okay?" Joyce stood in the bathroom doorway as her daughter wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet.

She shook her head weakly. "I don't know. I think I have a bug or something."

"Poor baby. Why don't you go lie down. You don't have to go to school today," Joyce said, concerned.

Buffy thought for a minute. She really shouldn't miss school, she couldn't afford to fall behind in her classes and besides, she needed to check in with Giles. But she really did feel like crap, and crawling back into bed sounded really appealing. "Okay," she said. "But if I feel better in a couple hours, I should go in."

Joyce tightened the covers around her daughter as she climbed back into bed. "Okay. Right now you need some rest. I knew you seemed off yesterday, this must have been coming on you."

Buffy nodded. "Thanks Mom."

"Sleep tight," Joyce said, closing the door as she left the room.

She stared up at the ceiling. _What is wrong with me?_ Any other time she had gotten a stomach bug it had come on her all at once, it had never been preceded by strange dizzy spells and exhaustion. She closed her eyes, hoping that she would wake up feeling better.

> > > > >

At the end of the school day Buffy entered the library at Sunnydale High. Her hopes had come true, and she had awoke feeling much better after sleeping for a couple hours.

Giles looked up in surprise as she walked in. "Hello Buffy. I thought you were home sick today."

She sat down at the table. "Yeah, I didn't feel good this morning, but now I'm better." And she really did feel better, she wasn't nauseous anymore, but she had another dizzy spell in English class, and she still felt exhausted, despite having gotten a few extra hours sleep.

Willow and Xander entered the library. "Hey, it's the Buffster. Nice of you to make an appearance," Xander quipped.

"Are you okay? I called this morning after you weren't in first period and your mom said you had a stomach bug," Willow said, looking at her intently.

"Yeah, but I'm much better now," Buffy said quickly. Willow continued to look at her suspiciously.

"Well, if you're still feeling under the weather, I don't see any reason why you couldn't go home now. It turns out that I was wrong in my calculations, and the Demon Prince Galthius will not be rising for several more...decades," Giles said sheepishly. "But it would still be best if you patrolled tonight."

"Done," Buffy said, standing up, relieved that she was off the hook with staring at ancient demon texts. She looked at Willow. "Will, would you mind helping me with what I missed today?" Truthfully she couldn't care less what she had missed, but she just wanted to talk to her friend.

"Sure, we can go to my house if you want," Willow said cheerily. "Xander? You want to come along?" Buffy felt disappointed, she couldn't exactly talk about the recent developments in her life in front of him.

"I think I'll take a rain check. My uncle Rory's in town, and someone needs to make sure he doesn't break into the liquor cabinet," Xander half-joked.

Willow nodded. "Okay. Well, we'll see you later." The four of them exchanged their goodbyes before the three teenagers headed out.

> > > > >

As soon as the two of them entered Willow's bedroom, the redhead sat down on her bed, looking expectantly at her friend. "Okay, so what is going on? I know that something's different."

Buffy broke into a grin. "It happened. With Angel."

It took a moment for that to register with Willow, but when it did her puzzled expression turned to one of shock. "Oh my God! You mean..._it_ happened?"

Buffy nodded excitedly. "Two nights ago. It was so romantic Will, he cooked dinner, and we danced..."

Willow squealed excitedly. "Oh Buffy, I'm so happy for you! So how was it?"

"It was amazing," Buffy said honestly. "And I didn't even tell you the best part! Well, second best part. He told me he loved me, and he gave me this." She held out her hand that sported the Claddagh ring.

"Oh Buffy, it's beautiful! Oh my God, I still can't believe you actually..." Willow shook her head in disbelief.

"I know. I don't even know if it's really hit me yet. And I saw him last night. But I didn't stay long, because I didn't feel that great," she said.

"Are you okay now? I knew you seemed a little sick yesterday," Willow said.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I woke up with this really bad nausea, but I'm okay. Still a little tired though," she said, deciding not to mention the dizzy spells in fear of scaring her friend.

"Well it's probably nothing to worry about. Maybe you ate something funny," Willow suggested.

"No, I doubt Angel's cooking gave me food poisoning," Buffy joked. She stood up, walking over to the mirror to examine her reflection. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll pass." Suddenly she saw her reflection get blurry. Disoriented, she felt her knees buckle, and she grabbed onto Willow's dresser to prevent herself from falling completely. A wave of nausea accompanied her dizziness.

"BUFFY! Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow said, alarmed. She took her friend's arm and helped her back to the bed.

She blinked as her vision became clear again, and the nausea passed. "I don't know. I just got dizzy."

Willow gave her a no nonsense look. "This isn't the first time that happened, is it?"

Buffy sighed, massaging her temples. "No. It happened last night and this morning too. Must be part of my cold."

"Colds don't make you dizzy," Willow insisted. She sat down at her computer and began punching keys. "Name all of your symptoms. Maybe we can figure out if it matches some weird illness."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Weird illness? You think I have a weird illness? That's comforting."

"Buffy, please, this could be something serious, even mystical. You are the slayer after all." Willow looked at her expectantly.

Buffy sighed, giving in. "Well there's the dizzy spells, the nausea, the vomiting, the constant tiredness, and I had a headache yesterday."

Willow finished typing in her query and hit the return key. As a page loaded on the browser, Buffy noticed her friend's eyes get very wide.

"What is it? What do I have?" Buffy asked, panicked.

"Buffy...come look at this." Willow moved to the side and Buffy walked over and peered at the screen. The headline read 'Early Pregnancy Symptoms.' Her eyes met Willow's.

"But that's impossible. I mean I only...and besides, Angel's a vampire," Buffy said, as if that settled it.

Willow didn't look so convinced. "True. But stranger things have happened. And Buffy, you have to admit it is a little weird that you...you know for the first time, and then you have symptoms that are common for early pregnancy. It's all here, the nausea, vomiting, exhaustion, dizziness..."

"Okay, okay. But it's just a coincidence. I mean, it would be way to early anyways," Buffy insisted.

"Not necessarily. According to this some women experience symptoms within a few days of fertilization."

"But there _was_ no fertilization. Angel's dead, Will! It's impossible." She sat back down on the bed.

"Did you guys use protection?" Willow turned to face her.

Buffy felt her heart sink a little. "No, but it's because he's dead! We both knew we didn't need it."

Willow gave her a sad look. "Buffy, I don't know. Doesn't the timing of this just seem a little suspicious?"

Buffy felt helpless. "Yes, of course it does. But that doesn't mean it makes any more sense."

"I know it doesn't. But that doesn't mean that it's not possible. Buffy, you're a slayer, we live on a Hellmouth. If it's possible for a slayer to fall in love with a vampire who also has a soul, then I think its also possible for you to get pregnant."

Buffy began to feel panicky. "But Will, I can't be. What would I do? I can't take care of a baby, I kill my goldfish! And Angel, I really don't think this is what he wants. And what about Giles, and my mom? They would kill me."

"Buffy, calm down. It's going to be okay. We don't even know for sure yet." She scanned the website again. "According to this, a pregnancy test won't be accurate until 6 days after fertilization. So we can just wait, and maybe your symptoms will stop and we'll laugh about how nervous we got."

"I hope so," Buffy said with a sigh. "But what am I going to tell Angel?"

"You don't have to tell him anything. Just wait a few more days, and then we'll see." Willow sat next to her friend. "It's all going to be okay." But somehow Buffy wasn't so sure.

> > > > >

Five days later

It had been a week since Buffy had slept with Angel, and her symptoms hadn't gotten any better. Despite patrolling hardly at all and sleeping much more than usual, she felt exhausted. She woke up nearly every morning to a strong sense of nausea. The dizziness still happened once in a while, and headaches were more frequent than normal. With every day that the symptoms persisted, Buffy got more and more scared.

Now the moment of truth had come. Buffy and Willow sat in Willow's bedroom in silence.

Buffy suddenly got up and began to pace. "This is the longest 5 minutes of my life."

"Relax. It's going to be fine. Whatever it says, we'll get through this," Willow said, sounding more confident than she felt.

Buffy looked at her helplessly. "Did you see the look the girl at the check-out gave me? Will, I don't want to be a teen mother."

"Well just think of it this way, if you are, you know Angel would be supportive, most girls don't have that," Willow said optimistically.

"But I don't even know if he would be! And Will, you know that we're both thinking that if I am, it's not a normal pregnancy. For all I know it's not even human."

"Buffy...that's not true. I'm sure it would be human," Willow said meekly. They both froze as they heard a soft ding from the bathroom. "It's time." She paused. "Do you want me to look?"

Buffy sat down on the bed and closed her eyes. "Yes. I can't."

Willow walked into the bathroom. For a few dreadfully long moments, Buffy didn't hear anything. She was about to get up and go in there herself when Willow came back into the room, holding the stick. The look on her face told Buffy everything she needed to know.

"Oh God," Buffy said, as the tears started to fall. Wordlessly, Willow put her arms around her friend. "What am I gonna do?"

"I don't know," Willow said, trying to be strong for both of them. "But we'll get through this." That only made Buffy cry harder. They sat there like that for a long time, neither of them knowing what to say or do.

TBC


End file.
